Slipping

An excerpt from today’s read of THE NEW YORKER — I was startled that I resonated with this part immediately.

“Try as I might, I couldn’t remember. Life is strange, isn’t it? You can be totally entranced by something one minute, be willing to sacrifice everything to make it yours, but then a little time passes, or your perspective changes a bit, and all of a sudden you’re shocked at how its glow has faded.”

Love is so tricky, and it hurts a lot. But like any wound, it heals and you can barely see it after time passes. How do you keep a glow from fading? Or rather, how do you keep a glow? That’s a better question.

Trust.

There’s a famous quote on trust …

Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.

When I was a melodramatic teenager fighting on the daily with my ex, this quote seemed true. It still is, but only partially. I don’t know about forever to repair… a long time, yes, but forever? Doubt it.

Personally, trust is very difficult for me. Coming from a past of cheaters, women-crazy men, and liars, I find it hard to believe that the next guy won’t do exactly the same as the rest. In other words, you can say I’m neurotic. Trust does take years to build…I suppose that’s why in relationships, it’s hard – how many of us actually last for years? Is it only then that the trust is “finalized”? I’ve been dating for just over a year now, and the trust building has been a treacherous yet rewarding journey. I’d be lying if I said the trust was never broken. It has been broken. And it’s true – it only takes seconds.

If a rope is severed, even slightly, it’s hard to hold anything for too long using the rope – so then it’s a very difficult, frustrating question: how do you repair that? and how do you believe it won’t take forever to repair, which, according to this world, is a long-standing truth? And the most annoying answer?:

You just have to trust again. And no one can say how long it will take…which is quite intimidating.

Or give it up – whichever you prefer.

It’s such a simple, optimistic perspective; if you’re going to trust someone, trust them fully.

And care for them to the extent that they fear to lose you. Shower them with love so if anything were to happen, you’ll know you did your best and have no regrets.

Trusting someone is hard, regardless of which past you come from. But if trust is broken, take hope in that we were created to have hearts big enough to be hurt and healed again, to have lost trust and to gain it again.

 

A Review: ‘A Gentleman’s Guide to Love & Murder’

A tasteful blend of a conniving murderer who makes the path to felony an entertaining and merry one … perhaps ‘merry’ isn’t quite the right word.

 The first act opens with a warning:

“This is a tale of an ancient retribution – so if you’re smart, before we start, you’d best depart.”

I did not depart. But I did laugh, for 2 hours, nearly. I was never really won over by murderers (who ever is, really), but this one stole my laughs, my tears, and my #1 placement for favorite musical character. (He also stole the lives of 8 other people, unfortunately for them). Meet Monty Navarro!

A Gentleman’s Guide to Love & Murder is a witty, British-humored musical that focuses on distant heir Monty Navarro seeking to take his spot as the next Earl of Highhurst…at the expense of 8 heirs before his turn of succession. This is a brilliant musical where one man (Jefferson Mays) played all doomed heirs craftily murdered by Monty in hilarious scenarios.

When Monty isn’t dealing with the genius dilemma of ridding the heirs, he is split between two lovers – D’Ysquith cousin Phoebe and passionate (albeit a tad superficial) Sibella, and this plays out in a beautifully sung trio of the three, all connected through nothing but perpetual opening and slamming of doors, in the score “I’ve Decided to Marry You.”Monty’s heart (and quite possibly men all over the world) is presented to us very openly:

“Phoebe, noble and pious, my esteem for her only grows… But when I’m with Phoebe, I am on fire thinking of Sibella, full of desire, passion and dare I say it love, but when I’m with Sibella whom do I admire not but Phoebe … round and round and round it goes”

Typical.

The second act opens with my personal favorite song: “Why Are All The D’Ysquiths Dying,” as the chorus of mourners satirically complain about their frustration of remembering who died how and where and their required dark fashion for the repeating occasion.

 “I’m utterly exhausted keeping track, but most of all I’m sick of wearing black!”

But who wouldn’t complain about that?

Monty Navarro’s light-hearted and child-like audacity is charming, drawing in the audiences’ inevitable love for this character, in spite lack of morals. Funnily enough, throughout the musical, I found myself secretly hoping he’d succeed as he devised foul methods of murder, and cheering him on each time he was one step closer to becoming Earl of Highhurst. With a combination of clever scores and ridiculous characters, I can’t see how anyone would not enjoy the brilliance of this bloody hilarious musical.

It has happened. British satire is officially my favorite.

Click here for highlights / preview for the musical